So last last weekend, I went to Shanghai, just to eat the first stores Five Guys opened in china. Five Guys is this burger chain that I ate back in United States that tasted really good and liked to add extra French fries directly into the bag they give to customers.
I also invited a friend from 8.6 and another from ELLA.
Ironically that day the first thing I did was NOT meeting up with my friends at the metro station.
The day before the trip I discussed with my friends on how to meet up on the day of the trip, as I had a dentist’s appointment at 9:00. Since we’re going to Shanghai by metro and I lived in Kunshan, we figured that we can just go by the plan without any problems, as they still needed time to get to the metro station that I was at.
Sure enough, after I finished my dentist’s appointment, I walked to the metro station and arrived before their train got there.
After a “minor” hiccup where they missed the station and didn’t get off–which lasted for 10 minuted, we officially met up and continued to our destination together.
Our journey to Shanghai by metro, was long —it took us one hour just to get to the Shanghai municipal border. But for me it was perfect as relaxation after an entire week of SAs bombarding my time scheduale. For the first half on the Suzhou half of line 11, I entertained myself by explaining the train esignals by the tracks and train instruments to my friends, suzhou’s 11 was automated and the driver’s cabin doesn’t exist, so we could see at the driver’s window. For the second half I took entertainment by looking out of the windows of Shanghai’s 11, Shanghai’s 11 was elevated above ground, so you could see the buildings and green among Shanghai’s countryside.
At the midpoint transfer station of 11, we came out of the station to get some I air, I enjoyed the sunlight shining across on me and the wide blue sky unobscured by low skyline of Shanghai’s suburbs.
During the journey I tried to talk to my friends, but although the atmosphere seemed light, I soon discovered that my companions like me too were very tired after our wave of SAs. Their responses resembled me responding questions when I’m extremely tired.
In the quietness between me and my friends that ensued after every attempt for engagement, I realized that there was no point of forcing them to talk and me trying to engage with them.
Soon we arrived at Shanghai civic center, we arrived at our goal and ate, we decided to play a couple rounds of games together. The atmosphere relatively to me lightened as I took on a less energetic self.
Throughout the later hours we spent after lunch we walked amongst the tall and old buildings of Shanghai, there wasn’t much talk, all we did was walk, stop, look around and repeat.
In the silence I started to think, why did I want to constantly talk, why did I insist on being energetic when I needed for some time to mentally recharge?
Time started to run late, so we went to the nearest high speed rail station, and after a lot of me trying to solve the problem of them having no identification, they got temporary identification papers and we successfully passed through security and were well on our way to going back. I looked out of the window as the buildings sped past. Silence in the silent car, the yellow light of the setting sun shining through the windows and landing on the windowsill beside me.
Although this time disable talk as much as our previous hangouts, the time I spent still felt relaxing, as a fell onto my bed I thought again about the questions that popped up in my mind earlier.
It wasn’t hard to find an answer.
I insisted on engagement because previously that was the only way I knew to “feel good with friends”
But sometimes you don’t need to actively engage with friends to make yourself feel at rest.
Engagement is only a reminder that they are there for you
And sometimes company can do that silently too.