2102/3/16
I am Jeff Sacrodon, I were using this sound collector to tell you one thing: never go to Acrosy planet district, and hope someone could hear me after I died, it isā¦ā¦crazy here(monstrous roars came from the distance, like the sound from hell), never even go near here, you will been crushed by these creepy devils! We canāt control these beast, the worst, there were already flooding the lab, thousands of scientists been killed. Oh s**t, these things are coming again, wish I will surviveĀ
2102/3/17
Good news, I somehow finds a spaceship not been damaged so hard, (only the engine coolers were a bit broken) I quickly hoped on and drifted away. Now Iām on the road to Planet Adisbe, I have heard it isnāt been effected by these āmonstersā. Actually, let me tell you what happened which made me in this situation. I am an ordinary C level scientist in UDO(university DNA observation), we where working on a program which could break down all of the DNA of an animal than regroup them into something new, but turn out we creates something we never expected. Itāsā¦ā¦ā¦a devil, no one knows what it looks like cause it is always invisible, or just invisible to normal light, we switch our lights to X rays, and sees itās basic shape: a frog like creature with long spikes on itās back, and sharp, exposed teeth, seem like itās been covered by hard materials, we tried to communicate with it to see if it is intelligent, after a few questions, we find out it have the IQ of a 11 year old boy, we where exited, but the happening of one thing makes this lab into a hell. One night when we were sleeping, it brakes out and eat half of us, the time we woke up, there is only blood all over the metal floor and brakes of human hands and legs hanging from the ceiling and wall, it leaves a bunch of cracked eggs on the ground.
From that day on, we escape form it, probably them, and gave them a name: Rebirth frog 067.
The really bad news is: Planet Adisbe are five light years away, and Rebirth frog is even faster than my spaceship, meaning I could been caught before I even reach Adisbe, but if I reach Adisbe before they catch me, I could use the desert on the planet to escape. Alright gonna get on to driving, I donāt want to be hit by an asteroid. (No one feels the boiling hot of the engine coming from under the sait)
2102/3/18
I have a very big problem, my engine broke because of overheating, and I can already hear the roars of the rebirth frogs coming from behind! I should have checked the coolers, I have never thought theyād been damaged this hard! (The boiling hot and the sound of electricity wires malfunctioning came through the cameras)I am so f***ing cooked, what should I do(sounds of crying)ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦(the crying stop), I have an idea. I could quickly break the outer shell of the spaceship, letting the universe cool it down, it could be broke one hit, but itās the only option I have. (The sound of bumping and cracking, it seems like there are gasses shooting out)Done, I maybe broke one of the reactors, but itās okay, we need to quickly start the engine and get on our way! #The roars of the rebirth frogs donāt need anything to spread, a very interesting thing the scientists found. (The sound of engine starter, but no sound of engine)what the f***, the starter malfunctioning now?! (A few more times, the roars are much closer)common, common, common! (The sound of engine came, just before the claws of the monsters could hit the engine)yessss! Thats soooooooo close, no mistake could be done in the afterword flight, or else Iāll be catch by these frogs.
2102/3/19
Only two light years before reaching the planet, maybe I could really survive, waitā¦ā¦why did I feel that the spaceship are going slower?(the sound of the engine seem to weakens)what?! This isnāt the time to malfunction! The frogs will catch up! (As Sacrodon complain, he didnāt realized that a tiny asteroid is flying towards the reactors)I need to go down and look, or else Iāll be caught(a bit while later, Sacrodonās voice came again)looks like the reactor I broke earlier is effecting the speed, I neither stay here and fix the reactor, or just leave it there. (Just then, the asteroid nit the engine, letting another reactor to brake) what the f***?! This would take me an hour to fix, and these frogs could catch up by then! I need to fix at least one. (Half an hour of fixing and struggling) Finally, I need to continue fly forward a bit, or else theyāll catch up(roars already could been heard).
2102/3/20
I have really, really bad news, the Rebirth Frogs just developed, they could fly even faster and there IQ also growing, making them easier to dash from the asteroids, this make them catch up to me, mostly because my reactors were broken by an asteroid ā¦ā¦ā¦and the computers I have were bad at calculating the movements of these asteroids(roars come behind) oh no, there coming up! What should I do, there is no hope TOT, maybe I could find something to help meā¦ā¦ā¦(a while later, sounds of nuclear guns loading came through the speakers) you know what, no more hiding and running, Iāll kill these f*** frogs today! (Sound of doors been open and 67gun shots) hhhhhhhhh, take that ya**, you will pay for chasing me for this long, I changed! Hahahahahaā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦what the(the sound of gasping), itāsā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦the frog king! (Jet pack in the fastest mood, door closing) at least that frog isnāt fast, I need to run now. (Engine starting)
2102/3/21-22
Wellā¦ā¦I could only tell one thing nowā¦ā¦Iām gonna die, but before I die, I just wanna record this and spread this in light speed, wish someone could hear thisā¦ā¦ā¦(roars, with glitches, his words glitches, like itās heās broken, or the device is broken)ā¦ā¦I lose my leg yesterday, I lost one arm today, and I am gonna die forā¦ā¦ā¦like 10 minutes, cause I am in the king frogās nest, let me tell you how this happensā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦. So basicllyā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦I was escaping in theā¦ā¦ā¦spaceship, and I donāt know how, it could shoot an very powerful acid and hits my engine, the spaceship stops immediately, he grabs me out, even melt my legs with theseā¦ā¦acid, I could do nothing, but watch and feel theā¦ā¦ā¦pain. He brought me back to his nest, Iād tried to escape, but he catches me andā¦ā¦melt one of my armā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦heās coming now, if anyone could hear me, come and kill this f*** frogs, the planet is (looks like the frog is coming closer, because his voice seem more worry)yeā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦ā¦(the voice stops before it can finish, then itās silence that seem like forever)
Good work! There are a few grammar errors but the story still works well, and good use of ***s š
A couple of specific grammar points:
1. Tense: Most of the story should be in past tense. Whenever you are reporting what happened in the past, use past tenses.
2. Pay careful attention to the difference between ‘where’ and ‘were’, same goes for ‘there’ and ‘their’.
OVO
First writing project, the second is on the way~
Wish you like it, I guess Iāll get 67 grammar mistakes OVO