Good evening ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to Alien news where everything we say is controversial and may be politically sensitive.

Latest news on the galaxy Kiwiiiiiway! A new alien creature has just been founded – the Ymehmehmehj! It looks like it just went through a black hole. The call of this fascinating animal is recorded here: “AHHHHHthiswasnotinthecontractbleghhhhhhhhhhihatetravellingthroughblackholesmakesmethrowupblegghhhhhhhhh”

Meanwhile, former Prime minister Ybibabu expresses the utmost gratitude to President Jhabnlun’s pet trousers who accidentally sat on and squashed the President’s most beloved pet banana, awarding it by putting it over his head and deciding to wear it permanently, while also making it the new prime minister. The new prime minister’s first policy is to make sure everyone permanently wears their trousers on their head. James, our reporter, will demostrate this shortly-  (once we’ve found him. The reward for finding him is free gazillionths light years of primary school homework on bananas.)

(I think they should go through B-2. Maybe it’ll make them even more ridiculous.)  Here, we would like to include an advertisement for Banana JUICE (JUPITER UNIQUE IN-SPACE CABS ETC.) which includes an exclusive tour from our reporter James. All this extra work is not at all mentioned in his contract.

Thats all for today on Alien News. We hope to see you next time tomorrow at 26:00PM. Goodbye

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