Bilbo Baggins of the ShireBilbo Baggins of the Shire

Sent with love from Bag End, Underhill, Hobbiton, The Shire, Eriador, Middle Earth, This Galaxy (I don't know what it's called), The local group of galaxies, The universe, The whole space-time and story travel continuum.

Listening to Princess Terrett’s 56-hour lecture without falling asleep

by

“Tricky,” muttered the fox, “but I have a plan.” “Really, Nightshade? You have a plan?” The yellow cat was skeptical. “There is always a loophole, Lemon,” replied Nightshade, “and I think I’ve found it.” “I like where this is headed,” whispered the small frog. “The rules don’t say you have to watch the lecture, do … Read more

Running 50 meters in 7 seconds

by

“Oh, I can do this no problem,” said the yellow cat. “Time me!” ”Uh-are you sure, Lemon?” Asked the tiny frog. “You did get a Z- for PE.” ”Don’t you worry, Froggy!” Said Lemon triumphantly. “I can do it!” ”Ready, get set, go!” Said the fox. Lemon ran toward the finish line. ”Well? How long … Read more

Memorizing 28535926 books

by

“How will we do this?” Asked the yellow cat. ”Well,” said the fox, “this should be quite easy for you, Lemon. Froggy and I have memorized 28535900 books, you only have to memorize 26.” Lemon groaned. “This math is making my head hurt, Nightshade.” ”Lemon, that’s not the point. And I didn’t ask you to … Read more

Getting a Better Score than Test-Bot

by

“For this one I guess we’ll just have to study very hard?”suggested the tiny frog. ” I agree,” said the small yellow cat, “but I disagree. You like learning, Froggy, but I don’t.” ” You contradicted yourself,Lemon,” said a fox. “Besides, Princess Terrett probably told Test-Bot the answers to all the questions. We can’t possibly … Read more

Explaining the Universe in Less than Ten Words

by

“How do we do this?” Pondered the fox. ”This is easy, Nightshade! I thought you were the clever one!” Said the small yellow cat. ”But, Lemon,” said the tiny frog, “you can’t explain your view of the universe in less than ten words! It can’t be done!” Lemon wrote “pizza is good” on a notebook. … Read more

Story Traveling Story #2

by

“We have a very big problem,” said Nightshade. “What is it?”asked Froggy. “I think we’re in cloud asylum.” “WHAT?” Screamed Lemon. “We’re in cloud asylum all right,” said Nightshade. She pointed at a logo of a cage inside a cloud on the wall. “So let’s just storytravel out of here,” suggested Froggy. They all looked … Read more

The Twelve Tasks of Princess Terrett

by

“You,” said Princess Terrett, “will pay for that!” ” I-I didn’t do anything,” protested the shamefaced yellow cat. ”Yes you did!” Exclaimed the fox. “You ripped her dress, you tit!” (A tit is a type of bird-not a rude word.) ”Hey, thanks for your loving support, Nightshade,” said the cat sarcastically. ”But you did, Lemon.” … Read more