You have adopted an interesting and lively style but it gets a bit chaotic and difficult to follow in places. It is ok to be quite free in your style but keep some structure within paragraphs so your reader doesn’t get confused.
I like how you have used the text styling to emphasize certain things and how you allude to other external artifacts and locations (why Guadalcanal?).
Note: ‘Catalogue’ should be ‘Contents’. And check your spelling. Don’t you get a red wiggly line under words that are misspelled?
Very detailed comments about the field trip from different aspects. And also truly advises about food, transportations etc. The own experience about sleeping in the camp is interesting and me as a reader really related to your feeling.
You have adopted an interesting and lively style but it gets a bit chaotic and difficult to follow in places. It is ok to be quite free in your style but keep some structure within paragraphs so your reader doesn’t get confused.
I like how you have used the text styling to emphasize certain things and how you allude to other external artifacts and locations (why Guadalcanal?).
Note: ‘Catalogue’ should be ‘Contents’. And check your spelling. Don’t you get a red wiggly line under words that are misspelled?
Use images to attract the reader’s attention.
Very detailed comments about the field trip from different aspects. And also truly advises about food, transportations etc. The own experience about sleeping in the camp is interesting and me as a reader really related to your feeling.
Thx, but who are you?
Pretty sure it’s Crystal.