Teaching & Learning English
Blog posts expanding on this curious controversial character creation.
The Secret Recording We stayed late the next day, telling Dr. Terrett we needed help with a project. While Steve asked him endless questions about Shakespeare, I secretly recorded his voice on my phone. I got clean, clear clips of him saying words like “understand,” “brilliant,” “exciting,” and “class.”
The Big Idea After school: Steve and I huddled under the oak tree. “What if we could… I don’t know… upgrade him?” Steve whispered. “Like a computer update, but for his brain?” It sounded crazy. But then I remembered my mom’s new job. She was a sound engineer, and she talked about “subliminal audio” – … Read more
The Boring Lesson Dr. Terrett was a nice man, but his lessons were like watching paint dry. He’d drone on and on about grammar rules, his voice a low, steady hum. My friend Steve passed me a note: “I think my brain is melting.” I nodded. We needed a plan. A plan to make Dr. … Read more
Chapter 1: A Problem is Born It was a sunny day. The clouds were few and far between, the lake was glimmering in the sunshine and the daisies were smiling gaily. Suddenly a yellow foot crushed a few daisies flat. ”LEMON! I told you not to step on the daisies!” A fox was scowling at … Read more
“So, I need to wash Princess Terrett’s mobile phone?” Lemon asked uncertainly. “No, you need to wash her car,” Froggy corrected. “It’s pronounced mo-bil, like the Batmobile or something.” ”Just wash her car.” Nightshade added. “This one is really tame. Just use a garden hose and some special soap. Simple.” Lemon felt a little less … Read more
“This one’s relatively tame,” commented Nightshade. “All you have to do is cut her toenails, Lemon. Simple.” Lemon groaned. “Have you seen Princess Terrett’s toenails? They have about thirty years of grime and muck stuck under them AND they’re about six inches long. And all fragile and yellow and cracked. It’s a method of torture!” … Read more
“Code,” said Nightshade. ”What?” Asked Lemon. ”You need to learn a code language.” ”Whattt?” Nightshade sighed. “It’s not a difficult concept to grasp, Lemon.” ”But Nightshade,” Froggy said, “we’re supposed to learn a language, not a code.” ”Code languages, Froggy.” ”Oh.” Froggy and Nightshade decided to teach Lemon a Caesar cipher, since Caesar ciphers are … Read more
“Okay, how is this possible?” The fox paced the floor. ”No worries, Nightshade,” the yellow cat insisted. “I am very very super talented at drawing. I don’t even need to look at Princess Terrett to draw a 30,000,000% accurate picture of her.” “Really,” Nightshade said skeptically. “The self portrait you drew a while ago looked … Read more
The rotten yellow fetid corpse slowly dripped blood, which pooled on the floor. It smelled like Lemon’s old socks. The head barely had any flesh at all, it was pure bone, skin and gristle. The eyes were torn out of their sockets. In fact, one of the eye sockets had bone sticking out. The teeth … Read more
“Tricky,” muttered the fox, “but I have a plan.” “Really, Nightshade? You have a plan?” The yellow cat was skeptical. “There is always a loophole, Lemon,” replied Nightshade, “and I think I’ve found it.” “I like where this is headed,” whispered the small frog. “The rules don’t say you have to watch the lecture, do … Read more
“You,” said Princess Terrett, “will pay for that!” ” I-I didn’t do anything,” protested the shamefaced yellow cat. ”Yes you did!” Exclaimed the fox. “You ripped her dress, you tit!” (A tit is a type of bird-not a rude word.) ”Hey, thanks for your loving support, Nightshade,” said the cat sarcastically. ”But you did, Lemon.” … Read more