I recommend developing the rest of this story, if you decide to finish it, in different blog posts. That way you can develop each part a little more fully rather than trying t cram lots and lots of different ideas in one long piece of writing. That would be easier for your readers to digest and would help you focus on maintaining coherence. For example, your next blog post could be ‘The museum guide: Philosophy of everything (Part 2)’

There are a few minor language errors. This is probably the most significant: ” He was not along;”

I agree. It is a bit too long for a blog post. This is more like the beginning of a novel, especially with the chapters. Maybe it would be better, if Leo wants to write a whole novel, to make each chapter one blog post. That way readers can move on to the next chapter in their own time rather than being faced with such an enormously long script at one time.