Comments on: Lucid Dreaming

By: DrTerretIsBald

DrTerretIsBald — Thu, 13 Jun 2024 07:49:49 +0000

In reply to InfernoHotline. thunks for da feedbuck

By: Director Dr Durian

Director Dr Durian — Thu, 13 Jun 2024 06:09:25 +0000

There’s no doubt that you’ve produced an engaging piece here. Good work!

The end is something of an enigma – did you really pull Toby’s head off or was that part of the lucid dreaming too?

The weird animals you describe remind me of a book my kids have called “The Other Ark” by Lynley Dodd.

InfernoHotline has done most of my work for me (thanks!) but there’s one ‘wrong word’ issue he missed: check out conscience vs conscious; I think you need ‘consciousness’ in your lucid dream.

By: Director Dr Durian

Director Dr Durian — Thu, 13 Jun 2024 06:00:57 +0000

In reply to InfernoHotline. I might have to add a 'like' button to comments :)

By: InfernoHotline

InfernoHotline — Wed, 12 Jun 2024 06:01:18 +0000

I like the frame story of you lucid dreaming within a dream. At least I assume you pulling off Toby’s head which turns out to be a basketball is a dream. The context you provide in the first paragraph is very helpful for your readers’ interpretation. I like your metaphors and similes you implement in the main body paragraph. However, some metaphors you use, such as “there is a lamb that is a jaguar” sounds a bit weird and you should just convert it into a simile. “The jaguar is like a lamb” sounds a lot more ordinary, right? Also, beware of some grammar mistakes and stray words in your writings. Get rid of the “be able to” in “we are not able to gain conscience or even be able to remember.” There is a stray “the” in “having the no visitors in it.” Your creativity is something I can learn from while writing my next blog post. The setting of the scene is just so clear and unique.