Comments on: Indiana Jones the raiders of the lost ark (Metaphor, personification &Simile)

By: Director Dr Durian

Director Dr Durian — Thu, 13 Jun 2024 03:35:57 +0000

Much improved! But check these: “roit” and “poundered”

By: Director Dr Durian

Director Dr Durian — Tue, 11 Jun 2024 02:50:06 +0000

In reply to Logmeinu. Good point! Quality is better than quantity :)

By: Logmeinu

Logmeinu — Thu, 06 Jun 2024 02:29:43 +0000

I agree with the point that this perfunctory piece of work needs to be more detailed and polished before publishing. Some parts, like “her face was as pure as the light shaded of the tempest; her face was as pure as the light shaded by the moon.”, is completely unnecessary and can be improved by choosing either one of the two.

By: Leo

Leo — Wed, 05 Jun 2024 05:18:12 +0000

In reply to Director Dr Durian. I've double checked the grammar.

By: Director Dr Durian

Director Dr Durian — Wed, 05 Jun 2024 04:51:36 +0000

What are “soliders”, “cully hairs”, and “roit”?

Also, count your full stops (or periods if you prefer American). There should be more of them within your paragraphs. You can’t join numerous sentences together with commas. That is called ‘run-on’ and is typically penalised quite heavily in high stakes English language tests.

By: Director Dr Durian

Director Dr Durian — Tue, 04 Jun 2024 06:09:24 +0000

In reply to Director Dr Durian. That is to say, don't rush your work. Take your time and make it as good as you can before publishing.

By: Director Dr Durian

Director Dr Durian — Tue, 04 Jun 2024 06:08:42 +0000

This needs more work. There’s no problem with your descriptive work, but check your spelling and punctuation carefully! Much of this isn’t in sentences.