Unique products brought by new technologies engulfed our school with everybody being obsessed with it. One of them being the pills Toby gave me to be able to experience lucid dreaming. In most cases, we are not able to gain conscience or even be able to remember our experiences in dreams. With lucid dreaming, we are able to retain our conscience during the process of dreaming, to know that we are in a dream when we are in a dream, therefore allows us to control everything in the world of our dreams. This is very popular because this product allows us to travel anywhere we want with anything we want in it. Additionally, the journey does not take up anytime at all due to the fact that it occurs during the time of our sleep, providing us both rest and entertainment at the same time.
I could not come up with the decision of where to go, so I just decided to let my subconscience bring me to anywhere. There I was, having my mind totally relaxed and thinking of all the potential places I could go. After falling into deep sleep, I opened my eyes again, surrounded by animals. The zoo looks futuristic, despite having no visitors in it. I had the zoo all for myself. I started wandering around, wondering what animals I would see. The animals there are unique, in fact weird. The animals were animals that I am familiar with, but they were not animals that I am familiar with. The texture and stripes of the lamb is like that of the jaguars, and it lives in the water like an alligator. The flamingo is like a kangaroo with an abnormal amount of legs (Kangaroos use their tail as their third leg). The building of this zoo looks like a jelly fish. I kept walking further. The elephant like rhino was singing to himself with his head down. I saw an alligator, and decided to pet it (for some odd reason). The skin of the alligator is a pillow, it is soft like butter.
Suddenly, the alligator turned into Toby’s face. He woke me up mid dream to borrow twenty dollars. I was furious, I was having the time of my life. Then I realized it may already be daytime, so I checked my alarm clock. 03:23. I was more furious, I raged, I pulled off Toby’s head and put him into permanent lucid dreaming. I realized that I accidentally separated Toby’s head and body. His head is a basketball. I took his head, went outside and started playing basketball.
There’s no doubt that you’ve produced an engaging piece here. Good work!
The end is something of an enigma – did you really pull Toby’s head off or was that part of the lucid dreaming too?
The weird animals you describe remind me of a book my kids have called “The Other Ark” by Lynley Dodd.
InfernoHotline has done most of my work for me (thanks!) but there’s one ‘wrong word’ issue he missed: check out conscience vs conscious; I think you need ‘consciousness’ in your lucid dream.
I like the frame story of you lucid dreaming within a dream. At least I assume you pulling off Toby’s head which turns out to be a basketball is a dream. The context you provide in the first paragraph is very helpful for your readers’ interpretation. I like your metaphors and similes you implement in the main body paragraph. However, some metaphors you use, such as “there is a lamb that is a jaguar” sounds a bit weird and you should just convert it into a simile. “The jaguar is like a lamb” sounds a lot more ordinary, right? Also, beware of some grammar mistakes and stray words in your writings. Get rid of the “be able to” in “we are not able to gain conscience or even be able to remember.” There is a stray “the” in “having the no visitors in it.” Your creativity is something I can learn from while writing my next blog post. The setting of the scene is just so clear and unique.
I might have to add a ‘like’ button to comments 🙂
thunks for da feedbuck